Merry Christmas!

Seasons Greetings

Happy Holidays 

Happy Hanukkah

Happy Kwanzaa

And a very Merry Christmas

to my fellow Christians!!!

Christmas time is here....

Merry Christmas Kwon!

I know it's still early and you wont be up for another few hours, I just wanted you to know that we love you and miss you very much.  Daddy and I cannot wait for you to get here and open your presents.  We'll keep them wrapped up and pretty and waiting for you...  Love you always and forever!

~ Mommy   xoxo

Sooo Cute!!!

What a lovely early Christmas gift.   It seems my boy finally got his Christmas loot!    ...and just in time for the holidays!    He's gotten so big and looks sooo cute grabbing on to that huge fisherprice cell phone....."call mommy sweetie!!!"   :o)

Today is exactly 9 months since receiving our referral...  and all I can say is I just want him home:  to hug, to kiss, to never let go.   My "grown up" Christmas Wish?  That the first EP batch is submitted on January 2nd, and that we're at least included somewhere in the first 3 batches.  
 

Merry Christmas baby boy!

 

   

THINK Children.org

Sandra Oh speaks out about

the North Korean Refugee Adoption Act

   

Visit  www.THINKchildren.org  from Dec. 15th for more info.

 

Take a moment to view the video below.
Find out what you can do to make a difference.





 

Korean Adoptee Film Festival

The Korean Adoptee Art & Film Festival!

Taken from the AAFF website:

This is the first attempt in Korea on exploring the subject of international adoption and overseas adoptees. The Film Festival hosted filmmakers, artists, and professional artists in South Korea determined to promote the introduction of a community for international adoptees with historical images showing Korea positively to society.  As for those artists that will participate and want to improve their work in Korea… [read more at: http://aaff.co ]

 

The first AAFF (Adoptee Art and Film Festival), organized by International Korea Adoptee Services and Overseas Adoptee Solidarity, will be held on November 18 & 19, 2011 at the CGV Daehangno Theater.

   

Christmas Care Package...Away!!!!

Making sure my boy gets his Christmas loot in time for the holidays.  Picking up just one thing grew into "babe, we have GOT to get this for him too"   ...Babies R Us has the gravitational pull of a black hole -- every time you think you can quickly grab something and get away it just sucks you back in!  :o)

Sweet honeysuckle, I so wish we could be with him for the holidays... or him with us.

Merry Christmas baby boy!




The Toys!   ...letters, numbers, colors, shapes, a book of rhymes and a fun little backpack to store them all  :-)

The Clothes!   ...gotta look cool for Jesus & Santa  :)

 

Okay so maybe there are a few more items I haven't shown, like story books, teddy bears, and toys from the aunties... (...lol);  but there is no way we're going to send them all.  Most things will be placed under our tree and stay wrapped until Kwon gets home.   :o)

National Adoption Month

November is National Adoption Month! There are an estimated 143 MILLION orphans in the world... is there a place for one in your heart?

Casu Consulto

My God shows me everyday that he is the KING of the Casu Consulto!!!
  
He is soooo totally awesome! So amazing! Recently He sent me a gift (really, it could only have come from God Himself) that came to me in the most unusual, round about way, sort of like a golfer hitting a hole in one by first hitting the golf ball into a tree which then ricocheted off another tree, and so on and so on until two minutes later it lands (miraculously) into the hole. Well, that's how my gift found me. Just unbelievable! And I cannot begin to praise Him enough. I cannot begin to thank Him enough. Because how do you go about thanking God for moving the whole world around just for you... For loving you so much that He knows the most intimate desires of your heart....and fulfills them. I have no idea; but I will spend the rest of my life trying.

 
 

  

Thank You

   
A Year Ago Today we got a wonderful email followed by a lovely phone call saying "Welcome to the Holt International Korea Adoption program." Since then we have had the privilege...the honor... of becoming parents to the most beautiful (if I do say so myself) boy in the world!!! ...Or at least in my world. :o)
 
The wait has been so very hard -- I cannot put it into words, but we have the word of many of our AP friends who have been there and done that who have confirmed (verified really) that our son WILL make it home soon, and when he does, we will finally see that it was all worth it.
  
I feel so blessed to have these women (each one an adoptive mom) in my life.  I cannot express my gratitude enough. They have been a tower of strength and comfort to those of us in the longest "third trimester" in history, and although scattered across several of these United States, it feels so many times like they are no further away than next door. I could never get through this without them.....and I hope they know it.
  
Love you guys!

Later Gator

Hebrews 10

 
I do not know who this is for, or maybe it is for us all:

35: Cast not away therefore your confidence, which has great recompence of reward.

36: For you have need of patience, that, after you have done the will of God, you might receive the promise.

 
 
 

Korean Adoption Article: updates & stats

 

South Korean Adoptions:  Canary in the International Adoption Mine?

 
by Dawn [Creating A Family blog] - September 13th, 2011  [EXCERPT]

 
Adoption, both domestic and international, is an option for very few children without parents in Korea. Koreans have a strong preference when adopting for young (95% are under 3 months), healthy (virtually all have no special needs), females (70%). International adoption is an option only for infants that are relinquished by their birth mothers to one of four adoption agencies in Korea (Holt International Children’s Services, Eastern Social Welfare Society, Korean Social Services, and Social Welfare Society). Government statistics show that of the 8,590 abandoned and relinquished babies and children in 2010, 1,462 were adopted domestically and 1,013 were adopted abroad. What happened to the remaining 6,115 babies and children? The sad truth is that most will spend their childhoods in one of the large child welfare institutions throughout Korea, aging out at 18 to a society deeply prejudiced against them with limited job and social opportunities.
 
According to the Ministry of Health and Social Welfare, in 2005 there were 19,151 Korean children living in child welfare institutions. Ninety-five percent of these institutions housed more than 60 children, and one-fifth house over 120 children. An additional 10,198 children were in foster care. Children born to single mothers and children abandoned (presumably many born out of wedlock) make up the majority of children in these institutions.


New Korean Adoption Law 2011 
On June 29, 2011 the Korean National Assembly revised their adoption law once again. From my interviews and what has been reported, it appears that the new law is written in fairly general terms, with the details to be worked out during implementation. Starting in 2012:

•Birth mothers will have 7 days after relinquishment to change their minds.
•Adult adoptees will have the right to access their adoption records.
•More effort will be made to support single mothers and encourage them to parent their children rather than place them for adoption.
•Continued emphasis will be placed on increasing domestic adoptions.

Although there has been much discussion that this new law will completely phase out international adoptions in July 2012, I do not think that is specified in the law. In the past Korea has opted to continue international adoptions rather than place these children in child welfare institutions, and I believe they will do that again if domestic adoptions do not increase significantly.


Link to the complete article:  South Korean Adoptions: Canary in the International Adoption Mine?

The First Time...

Six months ago today I opened up an email and saw the most beautiful face... and in that very moment it was love at first sight.    In that very moment I knew I was looking at someone I would love forever.  My son.

The first time ever I saw your face

I thought the sun rose in your eyes

And the moon and the stars were the gifts you gave

To the dark and the endless skies

 

He can STACK!!!

Soooo... it's been 100 years since my last post -- I know, I know... I'm sorry.   That's why I started you off with a cute li'l pic...  to soften you up.   :-)

 
Anyway, I come today with lots of good news. We received a new Well Baby report and, as you can see, some awesome pics over the past few days. Its not as great as if we had him here, but it surely is the next best thing.
 
 
So here we go...

My boy is totally on track with his height and weight - actually he's about an inch taller than average right now.  Has 15 teeth...yes, I said 15!   Can you say "carnivore"???   ...lol

He walks alone.
  
He runs alone. (runs??? oh boy!)
  
He can both kick a ball and throw a ball.
  
He drinks from a sippy cup.
  
Stacks blocks on top of each other.
  
Has developed basic speech and says a handful of words.
  
Takes his socks off on his own... (could be a problem there...lol)
 
Is quite sociable: plays ball with his examiners and imitates their behavior.

And has been assessed as being developmentally on target.  Yay!!!

Wordless Wednesday!

(okay, maybe just 3 words...)

HE GOT IT ! 

 

[PHOTO REMOVED]

   

PRAYER CIRCLE

 
 

Several of my fellow adoptive parents (myself included) who are in the process of adopting from S. Korea have received some heartbreaking news that, due to changes in gov't immigration policy concerning Exit Permits (aka EPs), it may be much longer than we originally thought before we are allowed to travel to bring home our babies. Some of us have started a prayer circle and are asking that everyone take a few minutes and pray at 7pm every evening for the rest of this week for the situation to be quickly resolved. Some of us will also be praying and fasting. However you feel lead to participate, we are very appreciative.
  
Thank you for your support!

  

Sing It Diana!

 

No wind, (No wind) no rain, (no rain)

Nor winter's cold

Can stop me,
If you're my goal 

Ain't no mountain high enough

Ain't no valley low enough
Ain't no river wild enough

To keep me from you!!

 

Ain't no mountain high enough

Nothing can keep me, keep me from you!

  
 

No New EPs

Well, there it is.   

No new EP submissions will happen in July either.   
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.........I have no words.
 
 
  
[Update:   what does this mean?   It is yet another delay in bringing Kwon home.  The first two based on mis-information after referral, and now another two dealing with EP submission.  His homecoming has gone from July to August, to possibly September to now any time from October and onwards.  I truly don't know how much more of this I can take.  The timing of this news and my MIL throwing me that baby shower tomorrow...  well, it couldn't be more depressing.]

  

To Mr. Kwonderful

 
 
Hey Mr. Kwonderful...


We've been waiting so long

to see you take your small steps,

for you to play ball at home,

to see your big smile in real life

and hear your laughter so sweet.

Tell me kid, is it true you

chew beef with those teeth?



But hey, we know you were made for us

by our God up above,

so, no, it's not too long to wait

for a lifetime of love,

You're one year old, you've come so far,

and we're proud of you Kwon.

Our love today is shining for you

stronger than the sun.



Hey Mr. Kwonderful

banging your toys on the floor,

and when somebody tells you "no"

you watch their face just to make sure

if they're serious or if it's just a game they're trying to play

cause if it's in fun you'll keep on doing what you do anyway :o)

We miss you child,

but it will just be a little while

till you come home to stay.



You're one today, kiddo

Hang on cause soon Mom and Dad will be on their way, kiddo

to bring their darling little boy Kwon home to stay, kiddo

They'll take a trip, so Po and Trip, can skip over to the USA,

home of the Yankees, home of applepie,

and soon to be home of one special little guy.

You'll get your own bike,

your Dad will teach you to ride,

and you'll eat doubles, antipasto and macaroni pie.

So whoop! whoop! ticker tape, parade and balloons,

Cause Kwon, we'll be able to hug you up soon!



Cause hey, we know you were meant for us

from Jesus up above,

So, no, it's not too long to wait

for a lifetime of love,

You're one year old, you've come so far,

and we're proud of you, Kwon.

Our grandchild, our nephew, our son.



Happy First Birthday!!!!

[...love Auntie Dee]



 

Happy Birthday!!!

Happy Birthday Kwon Kwon!!! We love you and miss you so much, and can't wait until you are home with us forever!!!   Have a wonderful 1st birthday with your foster family whom we know also love you very much.   May God Bless You On This Special Day...  And may you grow up to enjoy many many many more! ~ love Mommy and Daddy

Let's sing the Happy Birthday song in Korean! ALL TOGETHER NOW!!!!

   

   

DOLJABI

What is this "Doljabi" thing all about, really?

Heard that one enough times, so here's a bit of this and that taken from several sources on the web about the Korean Doljabi.

• The Korean 1st Birthday is called the Dol Jabi Party and in Korea is celebrated 100 days after your birth because they calculate the nine months of pregnancy into your age. Here in America, however, it is typically celebrated on the one year anniversary of your birth.  (FantaseaBlog)

• It's a ritual where the child is placed in front of a table of foods and objects such as string, books, brushes, ink and money. The child is then urged to pick up an object from the table. It is believed the one selected will foretell the child's future. For example, if the child picks up a brush or book, he is destined to be a scholar. If he picks up money or rice, he will be wealthy; cakes or other food, a government official; a sword or bow, a military commander. If the child picks up the thread, it is believed he will live a long life. The types of objects placed on the table for the baby to choose has evolved over time, as a reflection of society's evolving perception of successful occupations. Some parents place a computer mouse on the table, which signifies success in the high-tech field, or a toothbrush, hoping that the baby will be a dentist. However, many parents remain more traditional in their selection of objects to place on the table. This is followed by feasting, singing and playing with the toddler.  Most often, guests will present gifts of money, clothes, or gold rings to the parents for the child at this time. (Wikipedia / Little Seouls)

  

     

We Should Be Texans

 

Sooooo.... what started as a little get together with a couple of family members to celebrate Kwon's 1st birthday has now turned into a very definite get together (or LIME as we say in the Caribbean) with just over a dozen friends and family members.
  
I swear my family doesn't know how to do anything small. We should be Texans - you know the saying...  "everything's bigger in Texas"?   Well, that's how it is with us sometimes.   We just like to do things up a bit.   How many engagement parties did Tony and I have? Two. How many weddings did we have? Two.   Yes, we are a little crazzyyyy!  And you may think you know where I'm going with this..... and you would probably be right.  LOL...
  
Okay, no no no... we promise we will not do two birthday parties for the baby....lol, but we are having ONE very lovely garden party, even if the birthday boy himself isn't able to make it (this time).
 
Mom and dad will be there to clap and sing, and blow out the candles, and more importantly collect all the gifts on his behalf. :o)
 
As many as will understand why we're doing this, many others will not, but if you know anything about my husband (or me for that matter), we really don't care what most people think (...lol), we usually do things OUR way anyway.
  
So tomorrow we prep our backyard for a very interesting birthday party, all for a gorgeous little 1 year old boy who will not be in attendance, and who will probably be sleeping by the time we get things started that afternoon - already tuckered out from his own Doljabi, and who has absolutely no idea that any of this will be happening on the other side of the world, all in his honor... but we will know, and that's what matters right now.

   

Happy 4th July!

  

Finally Some Good News!

Our very first Progress Report!   Yay!!!

 
So lets not keep everyone waiting…. even though its from his 10 month check up, (so yes its sort of old news), we're still happy because we really needed some GOOD news.   :)

So here it is....
    

Baby Kwon sits up using his arms and knees after crawling, then plays for quite a while. He stands up alone and then usually takes 4 to 5 steps [at 10 months??? Wow!]  Crawls to get his favorable objects, grabs them by reaching with his hands, and then plays with them by banging them on the floor [HaHa!!!  Sounds like daddy's boy.   Yep, I think he’ll fit right in this family.]

Kwon grabs his toys with both hands when playing with them. Picks small objects using thumb and index finger. Rolls a ball well. Looks to find the source of noises, or when his name is called. Stops activities briefly if told “No” or “Don’t do that…”, but will resume if he reads a non-serious face. [Hmm…who’s going to claim this one? Grandpa?  lol]  Plays ‘peek-a-boo, pat-a-cake’ and responds to bye-bye with very cute hand motions. 

Laughs loudly and giggles when he is playing or is being played with. Shrieks and shouts with joy when he feels happy [uh huh…sounds a lot like both aunties]. He also babbles a lot. [Yep! He gets this one from mommy…lol]

[Lets Talk Food:] It seems baby Kwon eats lots and lots and lots: rice porridge; minced spinach, carrot, potato and beef [beef?]; diced apples and bananas, oranges, sponge cake, yogurt, eggs, soft cookies, sweet potato and pumpkin…. and the occasional bottle of milk.

[The amazing news!] He sleeps from around 9:00pm or 10:00pm until 6:00am or 7:00am [really?? cause that's great!] and takes two naps a day for a couple of hours. He seems quite sociable in nature and smiles readily, even with strangers [like his grandmom…scary, I know]. He likes to be with his peers and approaches them with interest and fascination. He loves to be held; enjoys splashing water during baths [who doesn’t?]; and likes being outside in the baby stroller. 

He seems to be a wonderful little boy who is bright, playful, and cheerful in nature.

[Hoorraayyyyyy!!!!!]


 

We need more laughter

With all this crazy EP news over the past few days I think its safe to say that we all need to have a little laughter injected into our lives.   I know I do.     So lets check out some totally funny footage from the great Steve Harvey while filming Family Feud.   Enjoy...  



 
  

Name Something That Gets Passed Around...

Steve Said You'd See It On YouTube



Russell the Wonder Muscle!  (Don't Ask)

 

Hope these put a smile on your face.....    ;-)

    

No Matter What

My favorite Psalm...mostly because of the first line.  It is what I believe, that in good times and bad, no matter what, as for me and my house we will 'bless' the Lord.


Say it with me...

  
Psalm 34 
    
1. I will bless the LORD at all times;  His praise shall continually be in my mouth.

2. My soul shall make its boast in the LORD;  The humble shall hear of it and be glad.

3. Oh, magnify the LORD with me, And let us exalt His name together.
 
4. I sought the LORD, and He heard me, And delivered me from all my fears.

5. They looked to Him and were radiant, And their faces were not ashamed.

6. This poor man cried out, and the LORD heard him, And saved him out of all his troubles.

7. The angel of the LORD encamps all around those who fear Him, And delivers them.
 
8. Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good; Blessed is the man who trusts in Him!
 
9. Oh, fear the LORD, you His saints!  There is no want to those who fear Him.
  
10. The young lions lack and suffer hunger; But those who seek the LORD shall not lack any good thing.
 
11. Come, you children, listen to me;  I will teach you the fear of the LORD.

12. Who is the man who desires life, And loves many days, that he may see good?
 
13. Keep your tongue from evil, And your lips from speaking deceit.
 
14. Depart from evil and do good; Seek peace and pursue it.
 
15. The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous, And His ears are open to their cry.
 
16. The face of the LORD is against those who do evil, To cut off the remembrance of them from the earth.
 
17. The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears, And delivers them out of all their troubles.
 
18. The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit.
 
19. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, But the LORD delivers him out of them all.

20. He guards all his bones;  Not one of them is broken.
  
21. Evil shall slay the wicked, And those who hate the righteous shall be condemned.
  
22. The LORD redeems the soul of His servants,  And none of those who trust in Him shall be condemned.
 
AMEN

 

No Words...

Actually lots of words....No picture.   
 
Mostly because I cannot find a picture that speaks to the confusion, shock, anger and pain I now feel having just learnt that there will be no EP (exit permit) submissions for the month of June by our agency to the Korean Government. Yes, just as our names had gotten near the top of the list for submission. How are them apples?

  
It seems that the government will not grant any EPs this month, and have requested that no more EPs be submitted until late July. Did you hear me? I said LATE JULY!!!!!
  
Forget traveling in July. Forget traveling in August. Shoot... even late September looks a little iffy now. What Is Going On?
  
Okay... I need to take a break. I will return again tomorrow... or the next day, to complete this post.
   

God is good ... In HIM will I trust.

    

New WBC ! ! !

Happy Birthday Baby Boy!!!

Okay, maybe he's not yet one year old and I may be jumping the gun, but I feel so proud of my boy and want to celebrate... he is developing so well and reaching every anticipated milestone. How wonderful is it to say that my boy was 11 months old this week.... and he's walking!!!!
  
He's Walking!!!!!
  
We really need to get to baby proofing this house....lol
  
Happy Birthday Kwon Kwon. We love you!

Care Package Away!

 

  
Yay! Kwon's first care package is now on its way....
  
What did we send? Well I think we went a bit overboard...lol, but there was a little of everything in there (pics to follow).
  
We have toys of course: a soccer ball that made the cutest sounds, claps, and counts up to 10. A stuffed monkey we affectionately named Po. Several Baby Einstein toys that play music and identify animals or objects. A baby cell phone that records a message from mommy and daddy (smile).
  
Plus two new soft photo books - one with only pics of mommy and daddy, and another with one each of mommy, daddy, both grandmas and grandpas, and both aunties and uncles....and a few of the house.
  
Of course "daddy" had to include the NY Yankees & NY Giants onesies and bibs...lol, and sensible mommy added several other (more practical) items of clothing as well.
 
Lastly there are the disposable cameras, snacks, and gift items for the foster family......all boxed and labeled and on its way to baby Kwon Kwon (yes, my mom calls him Kwon Kwon...lol).


 

Timeline... my new best guess

    
 

    
 
  
Soooooo...  after talking to LL and LM today I am beginning to think that we will most likely travel around Labor Day this year -- sometime between the end of August and mid-September, which means we need to get use to the idea of not having our boy home for his 1st birthday (we had been hoping).

Not the best news in the world...  but on the bright side he will get to spend his birthday in his birth country with a foster family who obviously loves him very much... and in a few months we will have him forever!  ...And I guess that's not so bad after all.    :)


Counting down the days...

   

NEW PICS ! ! !

 

What a nice and unexpected surprise!

My boy is getting so big.   :-)

 

And he's got his mommy's sense of humor.

Looks like just about anything cracks him up!   LOL...

[PHOTOS REMOVED]

 

WBC!!! WBC!!!

Horraayyyy for new WBC's ! ! ! My big boy was 10 months old last week and we got some awesome news about his health and development today.
 

Once again the doctor has marked him as being a healthy bundle of joy. Yay!!!   Such a big boy, he is not only cruising (holding on to furniture, etc, and walking around the room), he is now also able to stand by himself without assistance. Yay!!! He plays peek-a-boo and patty-cake, played with a ball with his doctor, has 8 teeth pushing out (YES....8 ! ! !) -- 4 on the top and 4 on the bottom; and is considered to be developing slightly ahead of the curve... i.e. developmentally he was assessed at being  > 10 months old!
 

My Big Boy.... Wow!    How cool is this?   Thank you Father....you are an awesome God!     :o)
 

Babymoon... CHECK!

 
It Was Awesome!!!!!

Here are a few pics.   :o)

Swimming In Custard

 

Why oh why does time seem to be going sooooo slow now?   I know everyone said that the wait got worse AFTER referral, but gee... I never thought it would feel like I was swimming in custard.

Doesn't the government know that I NEED to go get my boy?  Hello!   LOL...

Times like now I sit hoping for a new WBC to come so that I can ooohhh and aaahhhh over his progress.  Maybe this time I'll get some new pics, or (dare I hope?), some video footage?   Eeek!!!   Just the idea of video footage gives me goose bumps!  :o)

 

Surprise Gift ! ! !

Hoorrraaayyyyy!!!!! 


I got my very first Mother's Day gift in the mail today!   Thank you mom, dad and Deeee!!!!!    You guys are awesome.


This is sooooo cool. What a great surprise.  Just thought I'd share.   :o)

  

Happy Resurrection Sunday ! ! !

i sometimes worry

Okay, so this adoption has taught me something new about myself:  I'm learning that I am in fact a bit of a worrier.   ....And it's causing me no end of stress.
 
   
I worry that, as first time parents, we have no idea what we're doing...
 
I worry that we are not preparing correctly, or enough, or something...
  
I worry that we won't know what the heck to do with our baby when we get to Korea...
  
I worry that I won't know what the heck to do with him when we get back home...
 
I worry that there's no one around to show me any of the basics: what to do and how to do it...
  
I worry that there's no one around to gently correct my mistakes without being critical...
  
I seriously worry that I'm all alone in New Jersey with absolutely no personal support....
 
I'm worried that I will go through those bonding adjustments alone with no one to talk to...
 
I worry that I may not be strong enough to be a full time working mom…
 
I worry that I won't know the right things to do to be a good mom... 
    
Worst of all... I worry that I'll be just awful at this whole mommy thing and not even realize it.
 

 
It's true....I do sometimes worry about these things.  
  
However, when these thoughts plague my mind on days like today, I turn to my secret weapon (my bible) and remind myself that With God All Things Are Possible...  that I Can Do All Things Through Christ Who Strengthens Me...  that My Help Comes From The Lord.   ...I hope, I pray, I believe, that no matter what...  it is well with my soul.
 


 

Happy Holy Week

Christmas is awesome and I do love it;  BUT the real miracle... the reason I am saved, the reason I am healed, the reason I am free... is because Jesus died (and rose again) for me!

 
 
 

We Have Our Theme ! ! !

We found a theme we love for the baby room!   Yayyy!!!   ...lol
  
Boy, we've really been having some fun with this.  Here are a few of the items we've selected for the baby room.  Some we've already purchased, others will be on our baby registry.  

The colors in one or two of the pictures below look a bit faded; sorry about that - that's just what was available on the internet.   The actual color of the room (and most of the items) all match a color called Green Tea, and the accents are all in chocolate.
  
I combined two brands:  Mod Pod Pop Monkey with a few touches of Little Boutique Monkey. 

Hope you like it...    Let me know what you think.   :-)

New WBC ! ! !

 
 
YAYYYY!!!! A new WBC came today! I love getting any news about my boy, and we got some pretty good news today.

 
My boy is Cruising! Can you believe it? Oh I think I teared up a bit when I read this... I love that he's doing so well, and meeting all these developmental milestones, but I am also a bit sad that we missed his first steps. Either way though, my big boy is now on the move!   Man, I wish we had video footage or at least a few pictures.
 
He has also gotten a few more baby teeth, has learned to wave bye-bye, play peek-a-boo, sit up by himself, and quite a bit more. :o)
  
Hey, I know this is expected (or the natural course of) development, and yes I know that sitting up and cruising does not equal rocket science, but hey, I'm excited, and for me it may as well have been rocket science....lol. I was dancing around the house, I was so happy to imagine my boy doing all these new things.
  
Hmmm.... Is it too early to pre-register him for Harvard? ...lol

Missing Milestones

Today is my baby boy's 9 month birthday.   

This is a day that a mom would normally be happy, excited... a day that she would normally celebrate.  ...And even though I feel happy for my boy, I find that I am also quite sad. I sit here with thoughts of everything I'm missing, every milestone that (developmentally) we as parents are supposed to experience with him during this next month as he grows. Yes, I know that all babies develop at their own rate, but be it 2 weeks early or 3 weeks late... these are still things that I will only read about in a WBC report. ....and that makes me just a little sad.

The "Creepy-Crawler" 9 Month Old

The 9-month-old child continues making major gains in development and begins displaying a little independence. The youngster of this age is always on the move and will begin to get opinionated about such things as what foods to eat and when to go to sleep. Occasionally, these opinions turn into protests, so now is the time to begin setting some limits and saying "no".
 
Keep up a constant chatter with your 9-month-old child. Talking to your child while dressing, bathing, feeding, playing, walking and driving encourages speech development.
 
Encourage play with age-appropriate toys. Babies like to bounce, swing, reach for you, pick up and drop objects, and bang things together. Unbreakable household objects such as plastic measuring cups, large wooden spoons, pots, pans and plastic containers make great toys. A foam rubber ball helps the child develop his or her small motor skills.
 
Provide opportunities for safe exploration: Begin to set limits by using verbal "no's" and removing the object from the baby's sight or removing the baby from the object. Consistence of discipline is very important - adhering to the limits you set keeps your child safe.
 
Shoes are not necessary at this age (except for "show"...lol) or protection from the cold.
 
Stranger anxiety may limit some parent's ability to leave their 9-month-old with grandparents or a baby sitter. It is important for parents to get out from time to time without their little one. You get a breather, and your son or daughter learns that sometimes you do go away, but you always come back.



Development

During this period your baby will probably learn to creep, crawl and otherwise get around the room. He or she may even pull up in the bed or on furniture and begin "cruising" around the room.  

Begin comprehending a few words, such as "no-no" and "bye-bye."
 
Begins developing certain concepts - for example, your child will retrieve a toy after he or she watched you put it under a blanket.
  
Sits well independently.
  
Bangs two toys together.
  
Plays interactive games well such as peek-a-boo and pat-a-cake.
 
Perhaps the most striking developmental achievement is the use of fingers and thumb to poke, pry, probe and pick up smaller and smaller objects.
  
Your baby will learn to responds to his or her own name. 

Obsessed!

Okay!  I think I really need to stop playing "photoshop" the baby.   LOL... it's time.
   
 
Over the past few weeks I have turned him into various posters, post cards, calendars, magazine covers, invitations, virtual ornaments, etc....
   
  
Hey...at least I haven't printed any.............yet!     :o)


Here are two samples:

 

[PHOTOS REMOVED]

I think I need to join some type of anonymous group....

And They're Off ! ! !

There is so much going on with our adoption right now...it's like we went from cruising in 2nd gear to a high speed chase....lol.   Paperwork, baby shower, house painting, window shopping, consumer report reviews, re-arranging furniture, re-arranging the already re-arranged furniture, baby proofing, mold testing our basement (this one from my husband), and so much more...
  
I need a Red Bull! ...lol
  
We do have a lot to get done though.  We have nothing!  ...and I mean Nothing with a capital "N".     So it's time we kicked this game into high gear and start getting our son's room ready.

And surprise surprise! We got 3 gift cards in the mail yesterday from T-Mobile, each for $100 (the rebate from our new cell phones), so Buy Buy Baby, here I come!!!!!!   Baby needs a new pair of shoes!   :o)

 

10 Things You NEVER Say to APs

Adapted from an article by adoptive mom Tracy Hahn-Burkett

 

10 Things You NEVER Say to Adoptive Parents

(Especially in front of their kids)

Is it difficult to love a child who isn’t your own?

My child is my own.

Yes, I know what you mean, and I repeat:  my child is my own.  Please don’t ask that again.



I could never love someone who doesn’t share my biology.

I’m sorry your heart is so limited. …And your brain is so disconnected, because (in case you didn't know) your spouse doesn’t share your biology either.

I will also say this:  the only people qualified to comment on whether or not the love one has for their biological child is (or isn't) the same as the love one has for their adoptive child, is someone who has BTDT.   And adoption statistics show that parents with both biological and adopted children all say that they feel the same love for each of their children; that there is absolutely no difference in their feelings or perceptions.  So please stop insisting that you know there's a difference.

 

Your baby is so lucky.

If there are adoptive parents who haven’t heard this one, I don’t know them. Yes, my adopted child is lucky, just like any kid blessed with a good family (biologically or adopted) is lucky.  Moreover, my husband and I are lucky to have been blessed with such an awesome son.



Adopting must be so much easier than having the child yourself.

Clearly, you have never adopted a child.  What exactly do you think is easy about it?

Is it the hundreds of questions prospective adoptive parents have to answer along the path to adoption, questions that go to the heart of what kind of people they are and dissect every aspect of their lives? Is it committing to a lifetime of knowing that at anytime from toddlerhood through adulthood, your child may come to you with wrenching questions about his or her origins and your answers may never quite be satisfactory? Is it knowing that the very fact that your child is yours means that somewhere a woman will probably grieve every day of her life for the child she could not raise? Is it missing the early months, sometimes years, of your child’s life? Is it telling your child when he or she asks to see baby pictures, "Sorry, I don’t have any"?   Or is it the countless (many times judgmental) unnecessary questions by strangers and acquaintances alike?  I could go on, but you get the point.



Who is his "real" mother?  Was she a drug addict or prostitute or something?

I’m his "real" mother, and so far as I can recall, I have never been a drug addict or prostitute.


 
What kind of a person would give up such a beautiful, sweet child?

I personally hate this comment, and I know a few adult adoptees who flinch every time they hear it.

In general, a birth mother’s options tend to be limited in ways you have never even had to imagine. They are usually not bad, immoral people. Very few, if any, birthmothers who relinquish their children do so lightly. For most it is a searing, heartbreaking decision that will haunt them forever. Also, please understand that when you say things about my child’s birthmother, you are commenting about the woman who gave my child life, whom I appreciate more than you can ever understand (she had a choice and chose life when there are so many “easier” options available than carrying a child for nine months). I will be grateful to her forever.   And, just FYI, no adoptee thinks its a compliment to be reminded that someone "gave them up".


 
People who adopt children from other countries just don’t want black or brown babies.

Lets educate:   Now I don't know every adoptive parent, but none I know chose international adoption because they didn’t like or want a black or brown or "dark" baby (just FYI, a large number of countries involved in international adoption are African, Caribbean, South Asian, or Latin American). There are many more restrictions involved in domestic adoptions, and the risk of a birth mother changing her mind, even months after placement, are exponentially greater as the laws in America generally favor the birth parent. Not that I have a problem with that, but it does make things very risky for an adoptive parent. Also, the wait for a baby through the domestic adoption process is generally much much longer. The systems of international and domestic adoption differ in fundamental ways, and most parents who choose to adopt educate themselves thoroughly and then pick the program that is best for them.  International adoption was the right choice for my family.


 
Why did you choose Korea?
 
Simple answer: Because that’s where my baby was.
 
Complex answer: A large number of factors impact a parent’s decision to adopt from one country vs another. There are also rules and regulations that govern adoption, and many times those rules and regulations play a crucial part in a parent’s decision making process, along with personal preferences, and the inner workings of a specific country’s adoption program. Each adoptive parent weighs these factors and makes the choice that’s best for their family.



Asian adoptee ≠ Chinese baby

Not every adopted Asian child is Chinese.  And no, it’s not “you know what I mean”. You wouldn’t want to be called something you were not… neither would I....neither would he. And by-the-by, my 7 month old baby doesn’t speak fluent Korean. I don’t know about you, but I have never heard of any baby that is fluent in any language…. as a baby. That’s just funny.



How much did he cost?

Okay, listen very carefully -- my child is NOT a melon. I did not pick him up at the grocery store.

Adoption fees are in place to support the process of adopting a child, eg. full time foster care, medical support, document processing, travel costs, etc. If you truly want to learn more about the financial aspect of the adoption process, I will be happy to discuss that with you. If you’re only interested in knowing this (or anything else) in order to pass judgment, it’s none of your business.



 
I want you to understand two major take-aways from this article:

(1) you are talking about my child.  My baby.  And just like any other mother I am fiercely protective of him.  Do not ask intrusive questions that you would not want to answer about your own child.

...And (2), most women don't usually discuss their reproductive organs with strangers...so don't ask if I can or can't have kids - that's just rude.  (FYI, don't assume that all adoptive parents are unable to have biological children. Although this is sometimes the case, many many times it is not.) 
 
So think before you talk, choose your words carefully, and try to be sensitive and supportive  --  or you may find yourself facing a very angry mama bear.


   
Adapted from an article by adoptive mom Tracy Hahn-Burkett for the blog Then Came You!