H.S.T.K.

Unbelievable! I have thought of this moment for quite some time… the day that it becomes official. The point of no return so to speak. The day we are officially placed on the Korea waiting list…. when we know for sure that what we’ve been waiting for will eventually, certainly come to pass. We are now officially HSTK!!!! And what better day to get this great news than on our wedding anniversary. 
 
Happy Happy Joy Joy!!!   God is so good!
  
It is amazing to think that somewhere, at this very minute, a beautiful little person who will one day call me mommy, is sleeping, eating, or playing….not yet dreaming of his one day forever family. Having no idea that in a few short months time his whole world is going to change (for the better, I pray), and that even while he leaves so many firsts behind, he will be journeying into a whole new world of firsts.
 
When I think that he has probably just celebrated his very first Christmas, and will soon be celebrating his very first New Year… even though it is without his mommy and daddy, I know it is with someone who loves him dearly; someone who will make it as special as they are able, with much love and affection in their hearts.  Thank God for those amazing Holt foster moms.
 
HSTK may just be four small letters to some…and there may be many of you who don’t quite yet know what those letters mean. But for most of us it is the confirmation that we have made it to the halfway mark. Knowing that we are officially on the waiting list… and it is the unspoken promise, that someday soon – two weeks, two months, or even two years from now, our baby will be home in our arms.
 
Now we wait….for our baby to find us, and for us to find him.

  

Home Study Visits

  
I hadn’t written anything about our home study visits before today because there was just so much going on, and so much that we were unsure of with regards to needing permission to post, or even wanting to post, that I thought I would just wait it out until we were officially HSTK, or at least very nearly so....which we are, so here's a quick run down of our home study experience.

Our first visit with our social working was a bit nerve wrecking for us… and by the way, this is not a reflection on our SW’s personality. Not at all. It was just all us. Or maybe I should say….All Me. :o)

I so wanted everything to be perfect that I almost drove my husband mad with planning. I picked out our outfits, I made sure that we stuck to our schedule so that we would be ready for her as soon as she was ready for us… I kept asking him what I though the interview would be like…what questions she would ask…what topics would be the most important, etc., etc., etc…. And if I didn’t know better I think he had half a mind to move me downstairs into the guest room….lol.

Anyway, turns out I had nothing to worry about. Our social worker was amazing! Incredible! She made us feel so comfortable, so at ease, that they conversation simply flowed. (It didn’t hurt that we seem to have similar personalities so that together we were more like two old girlfriends catching up after weeks apart, than an interviewer and interviewee). Now don’t take this to mean that she wasn’t on the job. Oh yes sir… there were many a serious question raised, and quite a few posed by DH and I as well. But all in all it was no where near as stressful a situation as I had imagined (which is good, because I have a really vivid imagination). :o)
  
Our other visits went equally well, and so I know in a short while, we'll be approved.
  
Can't wait...

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

"For Unto Us A Child Is Born...

Unto Us A Son Is Given"

May Your Christmas Be Filled With

Peace, Joy, Love & Happiness!

I'm Back!

  

Hey All ! ! !

 
I've finally found a few moments of peace where I can settle down and put some words together on this blog again. What has it been? Well over a week I think. Gee... that's a long time in between posts.
 
So.... what have I been up to?
 
Well, last weekend we went to another PIP Class with other pre-adoptive parents. Met some more really awesome folks, and had an opportunity to see some of my old pals from our last PIP Class -- all in all it was a fun day.
  
During the class an adult adoptee came in for a visit and was kind enough to share many of her experiences with us. She also shared with us her (very personal...very touching) reasons for wanting to search for her birth mother, needing to connect with her Korean culture, and desires to work with young adoptees. It was an amazing (AMAZING) discussion, and there wasn't one dry eye in the room during much of it.
That day we also met with our wonderful social worker to discuss a few issues that, looking back, were really not issues...lol, but you know how things go when you're in the moment. :o)

Finally we drove over to my MIL's house for dinner with the family who were eagerly awaiting news and updates on how things were going with the adoption process.
 
All in all.....it was an awesome week/weekend!

Wordless Wednesday

Ode to Peddler's Village

We had a wonderful visit to Peddler's Village over the weekend.

One More Step

Our Home Study Is Done... all required paperwork (both our personal statements complete with multi-page questionnaires...) done; all supplemental paperwork (job letters, financial statements, proof of insurance, medicals, fingerprints, photos, etc.) done; all supporting documents (certified copies of birth certificates, marriage certificate, etc) attached; and all references....done! All sent to our agency via UPS... and confirmed today that it was received.


Hooorrrraaayyyyyyy!!!!!
 
 
Now we wait. We wait for them to review it all and let us know if anything is missing or needs to be updated. If all is well the home study package is approved and we are visited at home by 3 ghosts (Christmas past, present, and future....). Uhhh....No...wait…that's wrong. That's Charles Dickens....lol. Okay, WE will be visited approx. 3 times by 1 social worker....who is actually very nice (and not at all a ghost). And, if our visits go well we may only need to do two.
 
Once we are cleared by the social worker we will officially be H.S.T.K. (aka Home Study To Korea). This is a milestone marker. Most families celebrate when they are HSTK because then (and only then) they are OFFICIALLY placed on the waiting list for a referral. While waiting we MUST file two sets of paperwork with the US government for approval of our adoption. This paperwork is needed in order for us to travel to bring back our baby, and for our baby to enter into the United States.
 
One more small step on the road to forever...

My soul aches for Seoul

Let us keep South Korea in our prayers.  Many of us adoptive parents are concerned at the backlash that may come from these new developments in the news, especially with regards to traveling for our children.  But while the world may look chaotic, we know He who holds the world in His hands, and trust that His will be done.   Amen.


The NY Daily News

The U.S. played good cop-bad cop in the Korean crisis today as President Obama struggled to defuse tensions that boiled over into deadly artillery duels.
 
The nuclear aircraft carrier George Washington and its battle group of guided missile destroyers and frigates sailed from Japan to back up the South Korean navy in a show of force near the disputed maritime border between North and South Korea.
  
On the ground, Gen. Walter Sharp, commander of U.S. forces in South Korea and head of the United Nations Command, pressed for meetings with his North Korean military counterparts "to de-escalate the situation."
 
Sharp suggested an "exchange of information" in a sitdown at Panmunjom on the DMZ, the site of talks that led to an uneasy truce in the Korean War in 1953.
  
The U.S. has refused to renew diplomacy with North Korea and rejoin talks on an overall regional peace agreement until the North takes action on disarming its nuclear weapons.
  
South Korean officials said that death toll from the North’s artillery barrage aimed at Yeonpyeong Island rose to four today. The bodies of two men, believed to be in their 60s, were found at a destroyed construction site on the tiny island.
 
Two South Korean marines were killed and about 17 other people were wounded when about 50 North Korean artillery rounds hit the island on Tuesday, triggering a counter-battery South Korean artillery barrage of about 90 rounds.   [...more]
 

National Adoption Day

Conceived on Paper, Grown in my Heart


Congratulations and Happy Gotcha Day to all those new Forever Families!
 

November 20th is National Adoption Day: http://www.nationaladoptionday.org/


National Adoption Day is a collective national effort to raise awareness of the 114,000 children in foster care waiting to find permanent, loving families. This one day has made the dreams of thousands of children come true by working with policymakers, practitioners and advocates to finalize adoptions and find permanent, loving homes for children in foster care. In total, more than 30,000 children have been adopted from foster care on National Adoption Day.


To learn more about some of the families who have adopted through National Adoption Day in previous years, please click here.

  

Blinging Out Baby!

Ahhh.....    The Paperwork is DONE.    It took long enough, but now we can finally exhale....   At least for a quick moment.

Next step would be our homestudy interviews, but for now, for a little while, we can just relax.

....And I can do a little internet "window" shopping!!!


So since I will have plenty of time to look for more practical items after we receive our actual referral, I decided to spend waste a little time looking at a few items Brangelina or Madonna (or even Sandra, Gwen and Halle) would consider buying for their million dollar babies.  

So, go grab a cup of hot cocoa, or a glass of chardonnay, and let's Luxury Window Shop for a half hour!!!   

[The headers are all links you can click on for more info]

The Uber-Super Stroller

Whether you're busy looking cool for the paparazzi, or trying to run away from them, these strollers are the ones for you!

  $2,900

$3,500

Got Gucci?

This just seems like a HUGE show off piece to me,
but hey, what do I know?  ...lol

$600

Cute Coach Baby Bags

Healthy Child - $350

 The Addison - $485

.....Like I said.   Very CUTE!   :o)

Alright Already Ostentatious Accessories

Forget Babies R Us...  it's all about Rodeo Drive!!!!

From $1000 gift baskets, to $3100 ottomans and $14,000 wall units for the baby's room; not to mention those "Call For Pricing" luxury items.   WOW!  (I wonder if babies who use designer sippy-cups prefer non-fat lattes instead of formula...Hmmm....)

And if you have a little more time check out  Glamajama:  the fabulous baby boutique to the Stars!!!  Just ask Demi Moore, Kate Hudson, Holly Robinson Peete, Tia Carrere, Lisa Rinna, and Brooke Burke.

  

I love crazy internet window shopping .... great fun for the holidays.   Ahhh...  good times.   :-)





Research......Done!

Adoption Workshops.....Done!

H. Pre-Application.....Done!

Official Application.....Done!

PIP Classes 1 and 2.......Done!

Homestudy Paperwork......Done!



Only 9,999 more steps to go.   **LOL**

Transracial Adoptions..Interesting Read

Transracial Adoption Can Provide a Loving Family
…and an Identity Struggle
By RON CLAIBORNE and HANNA SIEGEL
March 3, 2010

They are images of joy, images of happy endings among so much tragedy. A few days ago, Duke and Lisa Scoppa adopted two Haitian orphans, 4-year-old Erickson and 4-month old Therline. "I just always felt like it would be a really enriching experience for us and for everybody involved, really," Lisa Scoppa said.
  
Among the things that lie ahead for the Haitian children adopted by white American parents are a better life materially and a chance to grow up in a loving family.

But some black children who were adopted by white parents say there's another side of the story. "I didn't feel like I was seen or understood," said Phil Bertelsen, who was 4 when he was adopted by a white family and then raised in a mostly white New Jersey suburb.
  
Bertelsen and other black adoptees tell a similar tale: They felt estranged from the people around them who they instinctively knew from an early age were different from them, and yet cut off from their own racial identity and culture.
 
"In my teens, I became hungry to be a part of some kind of black community, black identity," Bertelsen said. "What was missed primarily was, you know, strong familiar representations of black life other than the ones I was getting through popular culture and otherwise."
 
He grew up to be a documentary filmmaker and made his first movie, "Outside Looking In," about transracial adoption. In it, he confronts his own parents for the first time.
 
"Ultimately, I am a part of your family," he told them in the film. "I use my name with pride. But I am also an African-American in your family and, you know, you have to see me as that."
 
In response, his mother said softly, "Maybe we were naive. Maybe we were. I don't know."
 
Bertelsen said in an interview that adoptees "don't tend to want to shake the tree too much. I call it the gratitude complex. We finally get this family, whomever they are, that we can call our own and so we adjust, we adapt, we learn to go along and get along and that's what I did."
 

Hard Truth for Adoptive Parents
 
"So in a way, home became a safe haven ... but it was a total disconnect from the world outside and so you end up, I ended up, internalizing the questions," he said.
 
Through his movie, Bertelsen said, he was able to say what he had always wanted to say: "See me. This is who I am.
 
"It was a hard truth for my parents," he said.
 
"People don't like discomfort but when you're adopting a child from another race, another country, it's very important that families understand that they [need] to put themselves outside of their comfort zone to really understand what the experience is going to be for the child...".


[…you can read the rest of the article here.]


 
What are your thoughts?

While We Wait...

Let's Learn A Few Simply Korean Words


from " Love the Children "

Father ..........Ap-ba

Mother ..........Uhm-ma

Grandfather .....Ha-ra-bu-jee

Grandmother .....Hal-mu-nee

Brother(older) ..Hyoung-neem

(younger) .......Dong-saeng

Sister(older)....Uhn-nee

(younger) .......Dong-saeng

Korea ...........Han-kook

America .........Mee-kook

Bowel movement ..Dong

Hungry ..........Bae-kop-pa

Pain ............A-pu

Stomach ache ....Bae-a-pa

Headache ........Khol-a-pa

Happy ...........Jo-wa

Scared ..........Mu-so-wa

Sleep ...........Jam-ja

Pretty ..........Ee-poo-ta

Hot .............Deu-ku-wu

Cold ............Choo-wu

Love you ........Sa-rang / hom-ni-da

Come here .......Ee-to-wa

Airplane ........Bee-haeng-kee

Bed .............Chim-dae

Cat .............Ko-yang-ee

Dog .............Kae

New clothes ......Sae-ot

Our house .......Woo-ree-jip

Toilet ..........Pyun-so

Food ............Um-sik

Cookie ..........Kwa-ja

Rice ............Pop

Water ...........Mool


Pronunciation Hints:

A-sound as in father

U-sound as in bus

OO-sound as in cook

AE-sound as in apple

WU-sound W as in water and U as in bus

I-sound as in knee

EU-sound as in new.

The accent is usually on the first syllable.

I Am Addicted!

My poor husband... I am becoming such a big bundle of mush; I cannot seem to stop myself from watching every single episode of Adoption Stories on Discovery Health Network.   I think I'm addicted to the show -- I really do.  I've watched almost every one for the past few months - even the reruns, but I think I've seen just about all of the Korean adoption episodes at least 4 or 5 times! Yikes! (Gotta love my DVR) .  I think I'm becoming obsessed!  I even make Tony watch them with me (when I can...when he hasn't run away or gone into hiding).   Don't laugh at me please... I'm a weak lady. :o)
 
...And of course by the time I get to the end of every episode, when the parents are being united with their new baby, I've gone through no less than a small fistful of tissues -- I'm becoming such a mush. A mushy mush! ...lol
 
I wonder if there's some kind of anonymous group therapy available....

Comsi Comsa

Telling members of our extended family and close friends of our decision to adopt has been a mixed bag of responses.  From super excited, huge hugs, tears of joy, a few gifts, and the beginnings of planning a baby shower;  to lukewarm hugs, complete confusion, and even a bit of denial .... the responses have run the gamut.  And, as you can imagine, some of those less than enthusiastic reactions were a bit disappointing to us, but since they were in the minority, Tony and I decided to meet such opinions with prayer, and hope that with time (and education), those still uncertain will come around and be as excited as we are about our decision to adopt.  I mean, as my sister-in-law says... who wouldn't be happy, and totally fall in love with a babyyyy!    :-)
 
Anyway, this weekend was mostly sweet.   The best part?  Well, I think the prize goes to both my mother-in-law (who is probably as excited about this whole adoption as my husband and I combined), and my Aunt Margo, who is my mom's little sister (and was only 12 years old when I was born).  They both couldn't stop talking about their "grandson" and all the fun they plan to have with him.  Yes, makes sense for my mother-in-law to call our soon to be son her grandson, but my aunt?  How does she qualify?  Well as far as she is concerned she's like my 2nd mother, and that makes her a grandmother to any children of mine...lol.   Funny!
 
Anyway, it was wonderful to hear them both refer to our soon to be son as their grandson.  (We are hoping for our referral sometime around Father's Day 2011)

Made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.   :o)

Coming Up For Air

Homestudy Hell is getting a little better...in that, even though we're not actually done, we can at least see the finish line. Whew! Fantastic! We were so excited to be almost done that we decided to take a break and do something fun today, which ended up being us spending the day hanging out with my aunt, uncle and cousin who are visiting from Florida. The day was filled with great food (sushi), and shopping and chatting and just good ole fun with family.

Today was also my mom's birthday, but she and my dad are celebrating in the Caribbean, so Tony and I called her at the stroke of midnight - yes, my family is crazy like that, to sing her the Happy Birthday song; plus we chatted with them several times throughout the day to make sure that mom was having a great time.  (Happy Birthday Mommy!)

Tomorrow morning we head out to an early service at church since there is no evening service this Sunday because of Halloween, and then back to the homestudy grind... But that's okay, 'cause we're almost done and it feels good.    :o)

Wordless Wednesday...

Dedicated To The Infamous HOMESTUDY!



Day 1:    We Sized Up The Job

Days 2 & 3:    We Took A Stab At It

Day 4:   I Seem To Have Lost My Husband....

.

P.I.P. Workshop Weekend

Today was a great adventure, and very very informative.  It was our first parenting in process workshop, required by our agency in order to be eligible for homestudy submission.  

We were a little worried that the location of the workshop was 2 hours away from our home (we didn’t want to be late), but even having to leave home just after 7:30 on a Saturday morning couldn’t bring us down – we were excited at the thought of taking one more step forward.

And during this lovely Fall day we began our P.I.P program.  

The workshop was hosted by a social worker who has been working with our agency for almost a decade.   There were 10 couples in attendance - each at various points of the 2^nd or middle stage of their adoption process, within various programs:  Korea, Ethiopia, India, and China.  And each couple made very valuable contributions to the workshop.   Tony and I even ended up chatting with the social worker for a few minutes after everyone left, expounding on many of the topics of the day.  She was really awesome!

I wish I could write more about this weekend as the workshop was amazing!   Unfortunately I don’t believe I should.  There were some very poignant moments brought about by various exercises, and to reveal any of them here would be to deny other future adoptive parents an opportunity to freshly experience the awakening that may come from being “in the moment” during their own workshop event.   …But (I'll say it again) we did have a blast, and saw many couples (including the two of us) walk away with their eyes newly opened to how richly rewarding an adoption can be to all involved.

Welcome Call

Wow, what a day!   I couldn't believe I would feel so excited after our welcome call.  I thought it would simply be pro forma, you know...  Hi, welcome to the program, lots of paper work ahead, yadda, yadda, yadda....  But instead we had this warm in depth emotional 90 minute conversation touching on many aspects of our lives, the adoption process, our expectations, reality checks, and so much more.

Our director is amazing!  I even told her so...lol.   She spoke with the right touch of warmth, confidence, and authority, and seemed to be extremely patient and approachable, which is good because I had a lot of questions.

The most exciting news of the day for us was that we were given permission to immediately begin our PIP (Parents in Process) training - a series of 5 parenting classes required for the completion of many of Holt's adoption programs.  We're actually starting day after tomorrow.   How fun!  And we're so grateful that the director was able to squeeze us into this week's class, because apparently the next available start date for us would have been mid-December or January, and that would only have delayed our timeline.

I guess I need to go print out our Module Handouts and Worksheets so that we're ready for Saturday.

The journey has officially begun, and our entire family couldn't be more excited.  God is so good!

Moving Things Around

So we spent the day looking at our home through new eyes - the eyes of expectant parents, and we suddenly realized that we need to start getting this house ready for a baby.... because believe me, right now, it isn't!   Why?   We have got a lot of crap!   And much of this stuff needs to be moved around (or moved out) by the time a social worker gets here.  

Our home is a lovely bungalow with the entire top floor dedicated to the master suite, with living, dining, guest rooms and den on the main floor, and a home office in the basement.   Problem is that we can't have the master bedroom and baby room on different floors;  so in comes our contractor and off we go stomping around the house with a measuring tape, paper and pencil, and our wonderful imaginations...working on a better plan for the future.  

Several great ideas later we finally settle down with a plan to review all of them and call the contractor with our decision in a few days.  Either way its beginning to look like we'll be losing our huge master bedroom, but we don't care...   We're preparing for a baby!!!

Tick-Tock-Tick-Tock

Hurry up and wait.


Okay so I am getting a little anxious.  I know I know...we've been going back and forth at this for almost 2 years and now it hasn't even been 2 weeks; but we haven't heard from the adoption agency with our welcome call yet and it feels like time is just crawling.  We did confirm that they received the document package a few days after mailing.   ...And the agency worker did say that it will take a few weeks before we hear back from them regarding our social worker and PIP classes...  but still.  
 

This waiting period is beginning to feel like torture!
    *sigh*        ...and we still have a long way to go (...lol)
  
To pass the time I've been reading lots and lots of adoption blogs;  mostly by Korean adoptive parents, but a few from China and Guatemala as well.   Great info!  Really great info out there, and I'm soooo grateful to all adoptive parents who freely share such personal information with the rest of us every day.  Their stories fill me with such hope and expectation.

Official Application

(Fast forward to many months later....)


Wow, that was a LOT of paperwork, and from reading other blogs and forums I guess it only gets worse (the paperwork, that is...)   But it will all be worth it once we have our little babahs in our arms.   

Hmmmmm....Did I mention that we requested multiples (as in two or more) if at all possible?   Yep....kind of a little scary. 

Research......Done!
Adoption Workshops.....Done!
Pre-Application.....Done!
Switching from Kaz to Korea....Done!
2nd Pre-Application.....Done!
Official Application......Done!

Only 10,000 more steps to go.   *sigh*

FINALLY!

Yayyy, it happened!

After months and months of discussion and research - meetings, conferences, flip-flopping between domestic and international, talking with representatives from one agency and then another.... we finally did it.  We finally locked in on the South Korean program and submitted the Holt pre-application for adoption.   International Adoption.    ...And boy does it feel good!  :-)

Tony and I have always known that we would adopt children, I think God put it in our hearts for most of our lives.   Long before we met I knew that I wanted to adopt, not one, or two... but several children.  Even if I had bio babies of my own I still knew I wanted to adopt.   Tony also always thought of adoption, mostly because he had a wonderful personal example of how successful and rewarding adoption can be.... his little sister was adopted into his family as a baby, and so for him, adoption was simply another very normal way to increase ones family.

When Tony and I were dating, one of the first things that made an impact on me was his openness to adoption.  And having a success story in his own family was, for me, an amazing sign, since, although I had always wanted to adopt, I had no real frame of reference that adoptions work for both parent and child.   Seeing how close he was with his sister, and how close she was with the rest of the family, was for me a banner ad from God giving me a huge thumbs up sign...lol

So, after 2 years of questions, answers, a whole lot of research, and even switching agencies....we're super happy to be finally on the road to a forever family!