Surprise Gift ! ! !

Hoorrraaayyyyy!!!!! 


I got my very first Mother's Day gift in the mail today!   Thank you mom, dad and Deeee!!!!!    You guys are awesome.


This is sooooo cool. What a great surprise.  Just thought I'd share.   :o)

  

Happy Resurrection Sunday ! ! !

i sometimes worry

Okay, so this adoption has taught me something new about myself:  I'm learning that I am in fact a bit of a worrier.   ....And it's causing me no end of stress.
 
   
I worry that, as first time parents, we have no idea what we're doing...
 
I worry that we are not preparing correctly, or enough, or something...
  
I worry that we won't know what the heck to do with our baby when we get to Korea...
  
I worry that I won't know what the heck to do with him when we get back home...
 
I worry that there's no one around to show me any of the basics: what to do and how to do it...
  
I worry that there's no one around to gently correct my mistakes without being critical...
  
I seriously worry that I'm all alone in New Jersey with absolutely no personal support....
 
I'm worried that I will go through those bonding adjustments alone with no one to talk to...
 
I worry that I may not be strong enough to be a full time working mom…
 
I worry that I won't know the right things to do to be a good mom... 
    
Worst of all... I worry that I'll be just awful at this whole mommy thing and not even realize it.
 

 
It's true....I do sometimes worry about these things.  
  
However, when these thoughts plague my mind on days like today, I turn to my secret weapon (my bible) and remind myself that With God All Things Are Possible...  that I Can Do All Things Through Christ Who Strengthens Me...  that My Help Comes From The Lord.   ...I hope, I pray, I believe, that no matter what...  it is well with my soul.
 


 

Happy Holy Week

Christmas is awesome and I do love it;  BUT the real miracle... the reason I am saved, the reason I am healed, the reason I am free... is because Jesus died (and rose again) for me!

 
 
 

We Have Our Theme ! ! !

We found a theme we love for the baby room!   Yayyy!!!   ...lol
  
Boy, we've really been having some fun with this.  Here are a few of the items we've selected for the baby room.  Some we've already purchased, others will be on our baby registry.  

The colors in one or two of the pictures below look a bit faded; sorry about that - that's just what was available on the internet.   The actual color of the room (and most of the items) all match a color called Green Tea, and the accents are all in chocolate.
  
I combined two brands:  Mod Pod Pop Monkey with a few touches of Little Boutique Monkey. 

Hope you like it...    Let me know what you think.   :-)

New WBC ! ! !

 
 
YAYYYY!!!! A new WBC came today! I love getting any news about my boy, and we got some pretty good news today.

 
My boy is Cruising! Can you believe it? Oh I think I teared up a bit when I read this... I love that he's doing so well, and meeting all these developmental milestones, but I am also a bit sad that we missed his first steps. Either way though, my big boy is now on the move!   Man, I wish we had video footage or at least a few pictures.
 
He has also gotten a few more baby teeth, has learned to wave bye-bye, play peek-a-boo, sit up by himself, and quite a bit more. :o)
  
Hey, I know this is expected (or the natural course of) development, and yes I know that sitting up and cruising does not equal rocket science, but hey, I'm excited, and for me it may as well have been rocket science....lol. I was dancing around the house, I was so happy to imagine my boy doing all these new things.
  
Hmmm.... Is it too early to pre-register him for Harvard? ...lol

Missing Milestones

Today is my baby boy's 9 month birthday.   

This is a day that a mom would normally be happy, excited... a day that she would normally celebrate.  ...And even though I feel happy for my boy, I find that I am also quite sad. I sit here with thoughts of everything I'm missing, every milestone that (developmentally) we as parents are supposed to experience with him during this next month as he grows. Yes, I know that all babies develop at their own rate, but be it 2 weeks early or 3 weeks late... these are still things that I will only read about in a WBC report. ....and that makes me just a little sad.

The "Creepy-Crawler" 9 Month Old

The 9-month-old child continues making major gains in development and begins displaying a little independence. The youngster of this age is always on the move and will begin to get opinionated about such things as what foods to eat and when to go to sleep. Occasionally, these opinions turn into protests, so now is the time to begin setting some limits and saying "no".
 
Keep up a constant chatter with your 9-month-old child. Talking to your child while dressing, bathing, feeding, playing, walking and driving encourages speech development.
 
Encourage play with age-appropriate toys. Babies like to bounce, swing, reach for you, pick up and drop objects, and bang things together. Unbreakable household objects such as plastic measuring cups, large wooden spoons, pots, pans and plastic containers make great toys. A foam rubber ball helps the child develop his or her small motor skills.
 
Provide opportunities for safe exploration: Begin to set limits by using verbal "no's" and removing the object from the baby's sight or removing the baby from the object. Consistence of discipline is very important - adhering to the limits you set keeps your child safe.
 
Shoes are not necessary at this age (except for "show"...lol) or protection from the cold.
 
Stranger anxiety may limit some parent's ability to leave their 9-month-old with grandparents or a baby sitter. It is important for parents to get out from time to time without their little one. You get a breather, and your son or daughter learns that sometimes you do go away, but you always come back.



Development

During this period your baby will probably learn to creep, crawl and otherwise get around the room. He or she may even pull up in the bed or on furniture and begin "cruising" around the room.  

Begin comprehending a few words, such as "no-no" and "bye-bye."
 
Begins developing certain concepts - for example, your child will retrieve a toy after he or she watched you put it under a blanket.
  
Sits well independently.
  
Bangs two toys together.
  
Plays interactive games well such as peek-a-boo and pat-a-cake.
 
Perhaps the most striking developmental achievement is the use of fingers and thumb to poke, pry, probe and pick up smaller and smaller objects.
  
Your baby will learn to responds to his or her own name. 

Obsessed!

Okay!  I think I really need to stop playing "photoshop" the baby.   LOL... it's time.
   
 
Over the past few weeks I have turned him into various posters, post cards, calendars, magazine covers, invitations, virtual ornaments, etc....
   
  
Hey...at least I haven't printed any.............yet!     :o)


Here are two samples:

 

[PHOTOS REMOVED]

I think I need to join some type of anonymous group....

And They're Off ! ! !

There is so much going on with our adoption right now...it's like we went from cruising in 2nd gear to a high speed chase....lol.   Paperwork, baby shower, house painting, window shopping, consumer report reviews, re-arranging furniture, re-arranging the already re-arranged furniture, baby proofing, mold testing our basement (this one from my husband), and so much more...
  
I need a Red Bull! ...lol
  
We do have a lot to get done though.  We have nothing!  ...and I mean Nothing with a capital "N".     So it's time we kicked this game into high gear and start getting our son's room ready.

And surprise surprise! We got 3 gift cards in the mail yesterday from T-Mobile, each for $100 (the rebate from our new cell phones), so Buy Buy Baby, here I come!!!!!!   Baby needs a new pair of shoes!   :o)

 

10 Things You NEVER Say to APs

Adapted from an article by adoptive mom Tracy Hahn-Burkett

 

10 Things You NEVER Say to Adoptive Parents

(Especially in front of their kids)

Is it difficult to love a child who isn’t your own?

My child is my own.

Yes, I know what you mean, and I repeat:  my child is my own.  Please don’t ask that again.



I could never love someone who doesn’t share my biology.

I’m sorry your heart is so limited. …And your brain is so disconnected, because (in case you didn't know) your spouse doesn’t share your biology either.

I will also say this:  the only people qualified to comment on whether or not the love one has for their biological child is (or isn't) the same as the love one has for their adoptive child, is someone who has BTDT.   And adoption statistics show that parents with both biological and adopted children all say that they feel the same love for each of their children; that there is absolutely no difference in their feelings or perceptions.  So please stop insisting that you know there's a difference.

 

Your baby is so lucky.

If there are adoptive parents who haven’t heard this one, I don’t know them. Yes, my adopted child is lucky, just like any kid blessed with a good family (biologically or adopted) is lucky.  Moreover, my husband and I are lucky to have been blessed with such an awesome son.



Adopting must be so much easier than having the child yourself.

Clearly, you have never adopted a child.  What exactly do you think is easy about it?

Is it the hundreds of questions prospective adoptive parents have to answer along the path to adoption, questions that go to the heart of what kind of people they are and dissect every aspect of their lives? Is it committing to a lifetime of knowing that at anytime from toddlerhood through adulthood, your child may come to you with wrenching questions about his or her origins and your answers may never quite be satisfactory? Is it knowing that the very fact that your child is yours means that somewhere a woman will probably grieve every day of her life for the child she could not raise? Is it missing the early months, sometimes years, of your child’s life? Is it telling your child when he or she asks to see baby pictures, "Sorry, I don’t have any"?   Or is it the countless (many times judgmental) unnecessary questions by strangers and acquaintances alike?  I could go on, but you get the point.



Who is his "real" mother?  Was she a drug addict or prostitute or something?

I’m his "real" mother, and so far as I can recall, I have never been a drug addict or prostitute.


 
What kind of a person would give up such a beautiful, sweet child?

I personally hate this comment, and I know a few adult adoptees who flinch every time they hear it.

In general, a birth mother’s options tend to be limited in ways you have never even had to imagine. They are usually not bad, immoral people. Very few, if any, birthmothers who relinquish their children do so lightly. For most it is a searing, heartbreaking decision that will haunt them forever. Also, please understand that when you say things about my child’s birthmother, you are commenting about the woman who gave my child life, whom I appreciate more than you can ever understand (she had a choice and chose life when there are so many “easier” options available than carrying a child for nine months). I will be grateful to her forever.   And, just FYI, no adoptee thinks its a compliment to be reminded that someone "gave them up".


 
People who adopt children from other countries just don’t want black or brown babies.

Lets educate:   Now I don't know every adoptive parent, but none I know chose international adoption because they didn’t like or want a black or brown or "dark" baby (just FYI, a large number of countries involved in international adoption are African, Caribbean, South Asian, or Latin American). There are many more restrictions involved in domestic adoptions, and the risk of a birth mother changing her mind, even months after placement, are exponentially greater as the laws in America generally favor the birth parent. Not that I have a problem with that, but it does make things very risky for an adoptive parent. Also, the wait for a baby through the domestic adoption process is generally much much longer. The systems of international and domestic adoption differ in fundamental ways, and most parents who choose to adopt educate themselves thoroughly and then pick the program that is best for them.  International adoption was the right choice for my family.


 
Why did you choose Korea?
 
Simple answer: Because that’s where my baby was.
 
Complex answer: A large number of factors impact a parent’s decision to adopt from one country vs another. There are also rules and regulations that govern adoption, and many times those rules and regulations play a crucial part in a parent’s decision making process, along with personal preferences, and the inner workings of a specific country’s adoption program. Each adoptive parent weighs these factors and makes the choice that’s best for their family.



Asian adoptee ≠ Chinese baby

Not every adopted Asian child is Chinese.  And no, it’s not “you know what I mean”. You wouldn’t want to be called something you were not… neither would I....neither would he. And by-the-by, my 7 month old baby doesn’t speak fluent Korean. I don’t know about you, but I have never heard of any baby that is fluent in any language…. as a baby. That’s just funny.



How much did he cost?

Okay, listen very carefully -- my child is NOT a melon. I did not pick him up at the grocery store.

Adoption fees are in place to support the process of adopting a child, eg. full time foster care, medical support, document processing, travel costs, etc. If you truly want to learn more about the financial aspect of the adoption process, I will be happy to discuss that with you. If you’re only interested in knowing this (or anything else) in order to pass judgment, it’s none of your business.



 
I want you to understand two major take-aways from this article:

(1) you are talking about my child.  My baby.  And just like any other mother I am fiercely protective of him.  Do not ask intrusive questions that you would not want to answer about your own child.

...And (2), most women don't usually discuss their reproductive organs with strangers...so don't ask if I can or can't have kids - that's just rude.  (FYI, don't assume that all adoptive parents are unable to have biological children. Although this is sometimes the case, many many times it is not.) 
 
So think before you talk, choose your words carefully, and try to be sensitive and supportive  --  or you may find yourself facing a very angry mama bear.


   
Adapted from an article by adoptive mom Tracy Hahn-Burkett for the blog Then Came You!

  

Amazing Love

 

I know that this has been asked by many before me, but the question still rocks my mind... How is it possible to love someone so thoroughly that you've never even met? How can someone occupy so much of your mind, and you've never actually held them in your arms? ...And how can this happen in such a short period of time???
 
That I could love my little one so much already after only discovering his existence less than a month ago, is amazing to me. That my world could be moved to such a point that he has now become the very center of it...is amazing to me. That I could feel so fiercely protective of him already... well, that truly is amazing to me.
 
God is sooo good. That He can gift my husband and I with someone so beautiful, so perfect, so precious... well......    :-)
 
AMAZING!